The photo on the left (pink dress & hat) is of my very first fashion show in Baltimore, MD in 2000. Since I am only 5'6", I don't fit the requirements for a runway model, so I had to make sure I was skinny enough to be considered. The picture on the right was a fashion show for designer Crissy Phillips in Philadelphia in 2014 (I think). Every time I look at this picture, now, I can only just give thanks and praise that I was spared.  I did not end up a casualty of the disease that had me in bondage for so long. At the age of 24, I was barely 100 pounds.  But I didn't think that was a problem.  I was only focused on one thing: being thin!  If I would have even imaged myself as the picture on the right, I probably would have sacrificed all I had to get some kind of plastic surgery to prevent weight gain.  See, my left picture self looked at my right picture self as fat.  Although I am still small, compared to what I was, my thinking was I was fat. ...

Every morning when I wake up, I open my Morning Meditation playlist on YouTube and just sit.  I don't pray (yet) or do anything else.  I just sit. Do you know how hard it is to just be still?  It's one thing to be quiet.  But to be still takes a greater discipline.  Because in being still, you have to silence the "inner thoughts"  the "inner voices".  I'm the type of person, if I wake up in the middle of the night, I can NOT think about anything or I will be awake.  It can be the simplest thing.  Once my mind gets going, there's no turning it off. Even to go back to sleep for a few precious moments of snoozing. As I sit, usually on the bed, I focus on the music that I am listen to.  It's all instrumental.  No words, no even instrumentals of songs I know.  Just strings, flutes, and piano.  Anyone that knows me, knows I LOVE a good string driven song, especially if a Cello is involved. I don't talk to God (yet), I do...

Yes, you read that correct.  Having an eating disorder is an addiction.  For me, it started out as an addiction to be thin.   I mean I was obsessed. I would look at pictures of women in magazines and on TV and wish that I could be as thin as they were. I would put certain pictures on the wall as my goal!   Yea I covered it up by the fact that it was a model and I just liked the clothing that she was wearing or I liked the pose. I was a great master of disguise.   I was addicted to not eating I was addicted to binging I was addicted to purging I was addicted to diet pills I was addicted to the rush I was addicted to the control I was addicted to how I looked I was addicted to the attention  The many nights I stayed to myself not wanting to leave the house because hanging with friends meant eating food.... The many nights I wanted to hang out with friends because...... My thoughts were all over the place Sometimes I was up, someti...

Eating Disorder Testimony Please excuse the sound quality of this video.  This was the very first time I openly shared my story of my battle with Anorexia and Bulimia.  I connected with my sister Pamela with an organization called Girls Like Us via Myspace (I know ancient history) and she asked me to share my story at her event she was having.   I was so nervous.  I didn't know what to say or how to make it sound pretty. But all I needed to share was my truth from my heart.  It didn't matter how shaky my voice was.  It didn't matter how many times I said um.  All I know is that some young lady need to hear my story!  They needed to hear there was someone just like them.  Someone that understood.  Someone that "got it." The same way I shared with complete strangers that day, I'm sharing this with you in hopes that it gets shared with someone else.  Whether it's someone you know personally that is struggling wi...

February 26 - March 4 is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.  This is something that is very near and dear to me because I have overcome two eating disorders (anorexia nervosa and bulimia).  Having suffered with this illness for over 12 years, it's not just something one forgets they over came. During this week, I will be sharing bits of my testimony and the journey to over come battling this awful disease.  Some of the things I'll share are: -what led me to begin purging after I ate. -how it became more than wanting to be skinny. -dispelling the "it's a white girl only" thing. -and more. Please keep me in prayer as I share and pray that someone is blessed by the words that they read.  Pray that it touches someone enough to want to be able to over come whatever eating disorder that may be battling. Hugs and Love, Jenelle The Worship Writer

MOMENT'em Focus I had the opportunity to be interview by Amia Freeman of MOMENT'em Faith & Fitness Leadership.  It was just candid conversations.  Two sisters in Christ chatting about Jesus over coffee (tea for me 😊) I pray you are blessed by our chat. We  busted down the lies that have kept many stuck.  We also talked about the tools needed    to help you live the life God has called you to live. Be blessed,

This morning in my prayer time, as I was thanking God for this new day, He showed me something awesome. Yes, today is a brand new day.  A day never seen before.  It's like a blank page in a journal.  But what God showed me is this: This day has already been planned by Him.  This day already has things that will transpire.  The page may appear blank to us but it's not really.  I remember watching an episode of "Matlock" (what y'all know about that lol).  And the key to solving the case was a notepad that had been left by the telephone on a desk in the hotel room. As genius as Matlock is, he took a pencil and began coloring the blank page of the note pad which revealed who the killer was.  The bible says in Psalms 37:23  The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way."  You see, the pages aren't really blank.  We just have to walk the path that God has already set before us.  We are the...