The photo on the left (pink dress & hat) is of my very first fashion show in Baltimore, MD in 2000. Since I am only 5'6", I don't fit the requirements for a runway model, so I had to make sure I was skinny enough to be considered. The picture on the right was a fashion show for designer Crissy Phillips in Philadelphia in 2014 (I think). Every time I look at this picture, now, I can only just give thanks and praise that I was spared.  I did not end up a casualty of the disease that had me in bondage for so long. At the age of 24, I was barely 100 pounds.  But I didn't think that was a problem.  I was only focused on one thing: being thin!  If I would have even imaged myself as the picture on the right, I probably would have sacrificed all I had to get some kind of plastic surgery to prevent weight gain.  See, my left picture self looked at my right picture self as fat.  Although I am still small, compared to what I was, my thinking was I was fat. ...

Yes, you read that correct.  Having an eating disorder is an addiction.  For me, it started out as an addiction to be thin.   I mean I was obsessed. I would look at pictures of women in magazines and on TV and wish that I could be as thin as they were. I would put certain pictures on the wall as my goal!   Yea I covered it up by the fact that it was a model and I just liked the clothing that she was wearing or I liked the pose. I was a great master of disguise.   I was addicted to not eating I was addicted to binging I was addicted to purging I was addicted to diet pills I was addicted to the rush I was addicted to the control I was addicted to how I looked I was addicted to the attention  The many nights I stayed to myself not wanting to leave the house because hanging with friends meant eating food.... The many nights I wanted to hang out with friends because...... My thoughts were all over the place Sometimes I was up, someti...