Overcomer

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The photo on the left (pink dress & hat) is of my very first fashion show in Baltimore, MD in 2000. Since I am only 5'6", I don't fit the requirements for a runway model, so I had to make sure I was skinny enough to be considered. The picture on the right was a fashion show for designer Crissy Phillips in Philadelphia in 2014 (I think).

Every time I look at this picture, now, I can only just give thanks and praise that I was spared.  I did not end up a casualty of the disease that had me in bondage for so long. At the age of 24, I was barely 100 pounds.  But I didn't think that was a problem.  I was only focused on one thing: being thin!  If I would have even imaged myself as the picture on the right, I probably would have sacrificed all I had to get some kind of plastic surgery to prevent weight gain.  See, my left picture self looked at my right picture self as fat.  Although I am still small, compared to what I was, my thinking was I was fat.

Every time I look at this picture, I'm reminded of the journey and what it took for me to finally love myself.  What it took for me to be confident in my skin.  This picture reminds me that being skinny does not equate to being healthy.  I was skinny but I was so sick.  I was malnourished. 

Every time I look at this picture, it makes me realize all the self hate I had was a slap in the face to God.  He knew how and what He created in me.  And for me to not appreciate it, for me think what to change it because I hated how I looked, only hurt Him.  See I was created in God's image (Genesis 1:27) and everything about Him is beautiful and lovely. He carefully crafted me: almond eyes, blonde hair (yes I have blonde hair), button nose, long legs/arms and broad shoulders.  There's nothing wrong with me because God doesn't do anything wrong.  Once I realized that, once I was made aware that altering anything about me, would mean God didn't know what He was doing 😖

So now, every time I look at this picture, I see a beautiful gem, a rare jewl (spelled that way purposely).  I see someone that man not be perfect in man's eye, but to God, I am His perfection.

Be Blessed!

Hugs and love,

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