This lonely road.....of addiction

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Yes, you read that correct.  Having an eating disorder is an addiction.  For me, it started out as an addiction to be thin.  I mean I was obsessed. I would look at pictures of women in magazines and on TV and wish that I could be as thin as they were. I would put certain pictures on the wall as my goal!  Yea I covered it up by the fact that it was a model and I just liked the clothing that she was wearing or I liked the pose. I was a great master of disguise.  

 I was addicted to not eating
I was addicted to binging
I was addicted to purging
I was addicted to diet pills
I was addicted to the rush
I was addicted to the control
I was addicted to how I looked
I was addicted to the attention 

 The many nights I stayed to myself not wanting to leave the house because hanging with friends meant eating food....
The many nights I wanted to hang out with friends because......
My thoughts were all over the place
Sometimes I was up, sometimes I was down
Most of the time I just wore a mask
I appeared fine and happy....
but on the inside I was dying....

 dying because of my addiction.....

 If there was a light at the end of the tunnel......

 I surely didn't see it....

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